sad panda goes to the doctor

Verdict: gained 10 pounds in a matter of weeks, change in meds, follow-up visit in a month, encouraged to seek therapy.

Hello mid-life crisis. The next one that comes around I’m just going to buy a red sports car and be done with it.

It sucks to know that the real you is so broken and messed up that it takes outside assistance to right it.

After my appointment was over, I, ever a fan of self-inflicted punishment and misery, went to the park where I used to run and sat in my car pounding powdered doughnuts (what ten pounds?) and concentrated really hard on not mowing down all the runners with my vehicle. Kidding. Really. Mostly. A little. Tiny bit.

I told someone the other day that I’m surprised that I have any friends left, as bitchy as I’ve been acting. To be honest though, withdrawing into myself is kind of nice sometimes. I don’t particularly want to be surrounded by people right now. Being alone is ok. Sleep is my best friend. Healthy? Maybe not. But for now its good. Almost a relief. As are sentence fragments.

Anyway, I’m not sure how much more I’ll post about this. Maybe a lot, maybe a little, maybe none.

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