this was a draft but now its not

(I found this post in my Drafts and am publishing it now, after adding to.)

Sometimes I just want to peer over my glasses at people and give them the evil eye for acting inconsiderate, or closed minded, or selfish, or just plain stupid. And sometimes I do just that, under the guise of looking intelligent. But the truth is, if I ever do that peering thing at you, you know what I’m thinking is not positive. Heh.

I’m perfecting my “you-are-in-so-much-trouble-if-you-don’t-do-what-i-say-right-this-second-young-lady” voice with kiddo. It seems to work pretty well so far. My trouble is that I want to crack up and start laughing at the absurdity of the sound of this tone of mommy voice in my own ears. Life is so bizarre. I never thought I’d be here, in this place. Its a great place, just a bizarre one if I think about it too much. And so I don’t. Because bizarreness freaks me out a little bit.

I tweeted to the internets today that I’m about to stab myself in the eye. There are so many reasons for this but I swear, I really am. I try not to let people disappoint me but they still do, almost as much as I disappoint myself sometimes. I have no idea with that means on paper, but I do in my head. As is the case with many many many things. Inside my brain is the most logical place in the universe, didn’t you know? It’s a well kept secret I guess.

I journaled tonight. In a journal. A book one, with paper. And a writing instrument I think that’s called a pen. So much of my life, our lives, are public. Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc. Its like nothing is private anymore. Our own fault for sure, but sometimes it bugs me. And so I journal. And think a lot. Stuff I’d never tell you or anyone here or anywhere, in any forum. Some things should just be yours alone to keep. I think its a mistake to think that you can know all of a person just from what they put out there, online or wherever. I mean really, you can say or write or portray all manner of bullshit, but how much of it is true? How much of it is you? My friend Dani and I had an interesting talk about something along these lines (sort of) today after our workout. We’re on the same page with it. We get each other without knowing certain details. I dig that about her.

And with that, I’m out.

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2 thoughts on “this was a draft but now its not

Add yours

  1. yea our talk was rather cathartic for me. I’m glad you get me. I have lots o drafts I need to finish and publish. thanks friend… see you tmw at 4am… we be crazy.

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