brainstew (or should it be brainspew?)

This morning on the way out of my neighborhood I spotted a tiny box turtle in the road.  I stopped the car, got out, picked up the lil’ guy and put him safety on the other side of the road in the direction he was facing.  I wish someone would do that for me sometimes. 

The most awkward show on television?  The Moment of Truth.  I’m sitting in front of the tv squirming just as much as the family and friends on the show watching their family member knowingly humiliate themselves.  I mean, these people know what questions are likely to pop up and they sit there anyway looking like scum while everyone else just looks embarrassed to be there.  I don’t get it, but I’m watching it anyway like the proverbial train wreck.  Speaking of awkward, this polygamy show on CBS is bugging me.  It pisses me off.  And creeps me out.   

I tried to walk through the neighborhood tonight with The Accountant.  I didn’t make it too far before my belly started feeling really funny – tightening and just weird so I turned around and came home.  I mean, I can barely roll myself out of bed, what makes me think I can trek through the streets like back in da day?  Yes I know, I should have been doing better with the exercising thing this whole time but it didn’t happen.

I was thinking about going back to work after Samantha is born.  There’s all these arguments for and against stay-at-home moms and career moms.  Discussions get heated and I can understand why.  I’ve heard people say “I didn’t have kids for someone else to raise them”.  Point taken.  Or “day care is good for developing social skills”.  Point also taken.  I know which side of the fence I want to be on but I also know which side I’ll actually land on. Trust me, they’re opposites.  It popped in my head today that putting Sam in day care is going to feel like some sort of cell phone plan – “GET FREE MINUTES WITH YOUR KID ON NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS!!!  Only $800/month!!!”  Woohoo.  Should I be excited about that?  Um, no. 

Today someone asked me what I really wanted to “do” after I told them that what I was currently doing (career-wise) was not what I wanted to do.  It frustrates me that I cannot for the life of me answer that question.  I can tell you all day long, upside down, backwards and forwards what it is that I do NOT want to do but I can’t definitively say what it is that I want to do.  Do do do do….how many times can I use that word?  This post is Doo Doo.  **snicker**  But anywho.  Here’s what I want to do….travel the world.  There we have it.  Easy peasy.  Wanna come?

It cost me nearly $50 to put gas in The Elephant the other day.  I thought I was going to go into labor right there at the Exxon station.  I wonder if they’d give me free gas for life if I did?

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3 thoughts on “brainstew (or should it be brainspew?)

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  1. That was very sweet of you to do for that turtle. I’m sure he was grateful.
    And I know what you mean about easily being able to make a list of things you don’t want to do, but never really being able to give someone a simple answer when asked about what you’d like to do. Traveling is nice. Very nice. I would definitely join you, but unfortuntately, traveling is one of those second step jobs that come after you’ve completed the first step of working at something else. Yeah, I hate it too.
    So, let’s see. What can I possibly tell you that will pick you up off that concrete and set you back down safely on the other side? I could tell you the same thing I’m having to tell myself everyday. Be persistent, Scout. Get out of that rut with persistence and gumption. Don’t keep going back to that comfy zone just because you stay in it until you’re sick of it, try to dig yourself out of it and give up because it seems too deep. And when you need help, ask for it even if it’s something as simple as the supportive words of a friend. This one’s always hard for me because I think I’m being a whiner and a complainer when I go to this. But don’t ever think you’re a bother when you go to friends for support. After all, they are your friends and they like to see you in a happy and satisfied state.
    Do what you want to do. Too many people tell you what they think you should do, but do what you want to do (career-wise and Samantha-wise). Your friends will be around to listen and advise you.
    And let me close this sermon with a bit of advice you gave me the other day. And I quote. “I think that things happen to people at the time they are supposed to happen. Don’t rush it. Your friends aren’t going anywhere, we’re still right here!”
    Text me if you need anything.
    Sermonizing fin.

  2. I think, in life, there are just some things you cannot plan out ahead. You have to follow your heart and see where it leads you. It may not be an easy path, but then again, is life ever easy? It’s the wonderment and element of surprise that keeps us going and enjoying our life with the ones we love. You may not know what to do right now, but when the moment comes, your heart will let you know. Trust it.

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