The food poisoning/mystery bacteria was quickly knocked out with the magic anthrax killing antibiotics from the doctor. Thank you modern medicine and good health insurance. What has not been knocked out however, is my fractured foot. I don’t go back to the doc for that until Feb 2nd. Until then I have decided to stop being such a rebel (read stupid) patient and use my crutches as much as possible. This pains me but I have got to get past this as soon as possible. I go from being “ok, I’ve got a plan, lets do this” to “I hate all runners and people who can walk properly”. I keep getting emails and various other reminders about races I can’t do and hearing that so and so ran x miles and is doing this or that race, blah blah blah and I just want to spit. The recently purchased Road ID and Garmin are buried in my underwear drawer cowering in fear. Mature? No. Me being honest? Yes. Sue me. Btw, I sold my 1/2 marathon entry to a friend of a friend but will have to endure going to pick up the packet myself and handing it over. Insult to injury. But, such is life sometimes I suppose. Bleh. Maybe tomorrow will be another upbeat, positive, I got this kind of day.

My big event for work I mentioned in the last post? It was a huge success! People actually showed up, were extremely interested and asked a ton of questions. Two hiccups…one of my main speakers was about 20 minutes late and about gave me a heart attack. And I got locked out. Other than that, perfection. Said speaker is notorious for being late but I didn’t know that. We opted to start without him and hope he showed up in time to give his talk. I made a last minute decision to man the main entrance to help latecomers find the room and when Mr. Tardy arrived I practically shoved him down the hall. This turn of events caused me to get locked out of my own event. After a certain time, the doors of the venue automatically lock. I knew this but did NOT know that the inside set of double doors also locked. I was caught between them and knew I was screwed when I heard the “click”. I couldn’t do anything but stand there and hope someone would come looking for me. Luckily, in a few minutes someone who happened to be working late came out and I squeezed past them and managed to attend the last half. Ha. All’s well that ends well though right? I even got one of those emails from the boss cc’ed to everyone thanking me and telling me I did a great job. I’m not used to that sort of open appreciation from a supervisor and its pretty cool. I feel like I’ve proven myself to many in the department and that’s a good feeling. Now on to the next challenge!

I was going to tell you all about kiddo and The Accountant’s pretend camping adventures this weekend, and events planned for next weekend, but the carhops are starting to look at me in annoyance so I’ll save that for next time.

My initial mental anguish over the foot has abated somewhat. I mean, I’m not shallow enough to wallow in self pity forever ya know. I just have to get it out of my system before moving forward. A big thank you to my friends who have been great and have known just when to say supportive things and when to stay silent to avoid my fists of fury as mentioned in the prior post. I may or may not be watching too much Ku Fung Panda with kiddo. Anyway.

Confession. I am not doing so well with the crutches. Believe it or not, I have never had to be on crutches before in my life and seriously, I can’t do anything with those things. I can’t carry anything, can’t go down stairs, can’t get anywhere faster than molasses, can’t stay vertical.  Ha. Maybe I’ll get better with practice but I’ll sheepishly admit to you that they are currently leaning up against the wall in the garage. I know this is not in my best interest for healing as quickly as possible so I will do better I promise. Don’t lecture me. Fists o’ fury, remember?

I will be investing in some padded booty shorts (aka biking shorts but that’s not as fun to say) and will begin haunting the gym again next week. I think I have acquired a used bike to use at home so I hope to have that soon. I also plan to use this time off from running to strengthen my core and upper body. So there. A plan. I haz one.

In other news, kiddo and I met up with a potential new babysitter this afternoon and will meet another in the next couple of weeks. The Accountant and I have decided to make it a priority to go out with friends more, as well as have more date nights. The girl I met tonight seemed great. College student with babysitting experience (and references), very sweet and engaging with kiddo. We’ve been invited to dinner with friends in a couple of weeks so that will be her trial by kiddo fire I guess.

My big work event is Monday night and I’m nervous of course. Hoping people show up, hoping my speakers don’t talk over the audience’s heads, hoping I don’t say anything stupid. Lots of hopes. After this event, there are some new things coming up at work that I’m pretty excited about…moving to a new office, a new project I’ll be working on, a trip to Boston in March…that kind of stuff.

It’s now 4:49 am and kiddo has just been up for her nightly cover check. I’m heading back to sleep if I can. Tomorrow is a big day. The Accountant and I are getting the oil changed in our cars. Woot. #sarcasm

I can’t tell you how excited I was to sign up for my first half marathon this April and how pumped I was to have been running consistently for the past nine months and improving distance and pace. For the record, I hadn’t even worked up to running over 5 miles at a time and my pace was averaging about 11:30 so I don’t feel that I went out “too hard and too fast” or over trained. If you say anything of that nature to me I will punch you in the face. Both of my fists are still in working order.

Regardless of any progress I’ve made thus far, I’m now staring at the crutches leaning up against the wall and will have no need anytime soon for a regular shoe on my right foot since it is encased in an aircast for the duration. I’m upset about the half marathon that I won’t be running, yes. But I’m more upset about the progress in my running that I’ve worked so hard for all going down the shitter. I had been semi-content riding the bike at the gym for the past couple of weeks, convinced it was for the short term and that the MRI would show nothing other than the need for new running shoes and maybe some inserts. Not a fractured foot that will have me out of commission for weeks or months.

I know I will have to regroup and come up with a Plan B but right now, I am going to wallow. I know there are babies starving in Africa and people dying every second of some malady or other. I know that my stupid foot is a First World Problem. But until I figure out a First World Solution, I don’t want to hear about running, read about running, watch running on tv, or even SEE anyone running. Call me if you’d like to run the Country Music Marathon in April and you can have my bib. I’ll even throw in the t-shirt. Oh, and you get a cool medal if you finish.

Turning comments off because I don’t want sympathy or a lecture. Just to rant.

Random kid pic: I’m not sure what kiddo is doing here but it made me laugh.

I’ve packed a gym bag and the plan is to make friends with a stationary bike this afternoon. We’ll see how that goes but I know that I cannot sit around moping about this forever. I can lift weights, bike, use the rowing machine, the elliptical (maybe) if I’m feeling froggy, resistance band and on and on. I am not limited and have to stop thinking that I am. Best case scenario is that at next week’s doctor appointment he’ll say the MRI was clear, that I’m a crazy person and to get back at it. The good news is that being bummed out has caused me to not want to eat and I’m down about 10 lbs. Yeah!

And now my brain is blank again.

No offense to anyone who does this but I hate cheesy New Year’s posts about how fabulous the past year has been and how great the next one is going to be and how you are going to resolve to do this or that or be this or that. Can’t you feel my eyes rolling? Blame it on my cynical nature but they make me insane.

And so I’m going to give you a cheesy picture of my kid just for the irony.

This guy has weird eyes on HouseHunters. They are like crossed but not really. I can’t stop staring so I’m glad he can’t see me.

Christmas was great and if I were a proper mommy blogger I’d post about it. But I think the moment has passed and we have now entered the post holiday funk. I will just say that Christmases with kiddo keep getting better and better and funner and funner (shut up, I can say “funner” if I want to) and I am a lucky momma.

Except sometimes I don’t feel very good at it. Today was a crap day for me and I’m now wearing a boot on my right foot which I don’t want to talk about. But that meant that I was done with domestic life by about 8pm. My dear sweet patient Accountant took over bedtime duty and he and kiddo had an epic showdown regarding her not staying in bed and getting up multiple times to be retucked in, drink water, wipe her nose, and various other excuses that are really cute the first two times and then quickly become maddening. The Accountant is a very patient man, consistent and persistent. Guess who won the showdown and kiddo finally complied? All that to say that during that fiasco, I stayed out of it and waged that oft fought battle in my head about what a craptastic mom I am and how my kid is going to turn out to be the bratty one in kindergarten but then will probably grow up to be the next white Oprah or something and will tell this story to her children blah blah blah. My head is a fickle place to be.

I didn’t wash off my makeup tonight and my face it itching. I hate that. I also think that I forgot to eat dinner.

Tomorrow is a holiday for my workplace and that means that daycare is also closed. God grant me patience and good balance tomorrow is all I’ll say about that.

The tree that's as "big as a whole house"!

Daddy & Kiddo approaching the tree

I’ve been wanting to take kiddo to The Opryland Hotel to see the lights this year. She went last year but there’s a big difference between a 2 year old’s enthusiasm over all the Christmas shenanigans and a 3 years old’s. Or so I thought. I was semi-dreading the hassle of parking and mass crowds but we somehow managed to park only a short walk away and were in and out within an hour. That’s some efficient Christmas light viewing people!

Sam was impressed with the lights but was equally as impressed with the patterns on the carpet and the shiny trashcans so her reaction was not quite what I was looking for, but we had a good time and it was virtually stress free. Another holiday win.

I’m off on Fridays and didn’t have to be anywhere until 11:00 so kiddo and I snuggled in bed for an extra long time watching Kung Fu Panda and Scooby Doo. I dropped her off at daycare just in time for outside play and then met Donita for our run.

Today’s run was 3.15 miles and one of the hilliest I’ve done so far. This is good since I need to be doing a lot of hillwork anyway. It can only help my running and the half marathon in April will have lots of hills. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? Or at least makes your butt look better. Although I seem to have done something weird to my foot so I’m gonna rest it today and hope its better tomorrow. Just what I don’t need, an injury this early on.

Then to Target for more shoe boxes for my closet overhaul and then home to try out a new recipe. Who am I? My closet is a small walk-in but I’m planning on turning it into a space where I can do scrapbooking and crafty type things. Good thing I don’t have many clothes I guess. The Accountant likes this idea because I’m a slob creative type and tend to leave chaos in my wake. This way we can shut the door and not have to worry about having to clean up a disaster in the guest room when company comes, which was choice number two for a craft room. So far one bag of clothes has been delivered to Goodwill and shoes are in clear boxes off the floor. Onward!

I mentioned a recipe…I’m really honestly for real trying to eat healthier and cook at home more these days. Last week’s crock pot vegetarian chili was great so I decided to try another. This time it was Black Bean Quesadillas from epicurious.com. Hello yumminess!!! With a few tweaks, mainly less onion and more beans. Otherwise, fabulous! Here is the recipe and some pics because I have nothing else to talk about at the moment.

Black Bean Quesadillas

• 1 can black beans, rinsed and drained. (I’ll use 2 cans next time)
• 1 8oz block monteray jack or cheddar cheese, shredded (or use pre-shredded bag of taco cheese…guess which one I did)
• 1 cup chopped cilantro, roughly chopped
• 1 white onion, chopped (I’ll use 3/4 onion next time)
• 8 flour tortillas

For serving:

• shredded romaine lettuce
• chopped tomatoes
• salsa
• hot sauce
• sour cream

In a bowl (duh), combine beans, cheese, cilantro and onion. Set aside.

Place tortilla in heated non stick skillet sprayed with non stick spray. Spoon mixture evenly over half of tortilla and fold remaining half over mixture. Lightly press down with spatula. Cook for a few minutes until bottom of tortilla is golden brown, then carefully flip and cook for a few more minutes until tortilla is golden brown and cheese is melted. Cut into 3 or 4 wedges and serve quesadillas with salsa, salad and Spanish rice. Or whatever you want. I did Spanish rice as a side.

Viola! Easy peasy and yummy!

I’d like to lose 30 pounds. There, I said it. I not-so-secretly anymore want to be tall and well, willowy. I’ve got the tall part down at least.

Isn’t it funny how weight and body image are such relative things? I have friends who are much skinnier than me and I get so annoyed when they complain about being “fat”, because to me they aren’t fat and I’d love to be their size. And then I’m sure there are people who weigh more than I do who think the same about me. So I try to remember that when my tiny friends are moaning about the doughnut they ate this morning that went right to their thighs. And when I say I try to remember that what I really mean is that I only punch them in the face in my mind and not for real. Love you skinny friends!

I remember being the weight I’d like to be right now and STILL not being happy with my body so truth be told, 90% of it is your attitude. Obviously mine is not in the right place since I obsess about it so much. I hate that but it’s true. I was talking to a friend the other day and she said that she is finally content with how she looks. It was a mental change and I’d like to steal it somehow. It seems like such a big leap for me though. I’m not sure how people do that. I guess that goes for more things than just body image too.

I have no answers on this stuff, just thoughts. And I’m about to eat a salad. A willowy-type salad.

Sidenote: Know what bugs me? Typos bug me. Proofreading is good. I’m not a grammar stickler but some things are just stupid. And people who get into the elevator before letting others get off. Those two things for today.