Today be like…

Cubicle_Nation “So, what do you do?”

This question always trips me up. What I “do” is a bit complicated and hard to explain and even after my poor attempts I usually get blank stares. If The Accountant is with me after I’ve stumbled through a long and rambling explanation to someone, he’ll say, “so what do you do again?” Cracks me up every time. Not that what I do is rocket science or anything but to someone who isn’t in this particular field, it may seem like it. And I can’t just say “I’m an an accountant, or a hair dresser or a widget maker.”

Anyway, some big things happened today in the workplace in relation to what I do, in a good way. The boss is happy and you know what they say about happy bosses. Or maybe that’s happy mommas. Whatever. Same difference in many cases.

I may not be able to explain what I do, but part of it entails getting to wear cute headsets sometimes.

girls be cray

There is a screaming contest happening on my back patio right now. The neighbors are probably going to call the cops or otherwise stage some sort of intervention. Kiddo had a birthday party at the house earlier today and is now embarking on that rite of passage known as her first slumber party…hosted by yours truly. Two girls, one a cousin and the other her bff from kindergarten. They are good girls but this is rather exhausting. Hubs bailed and went to the movies. I don’t blame him. He also helped a lot too, just to be clear.

The party went well however. We turned on sprinklers and had water balloons (yes, I spent 2 hours filling up 300 balloons) and water squirters.  I don’t know that I won’t resort back to paying to have someone else do everything. It’s just WAY easier. So anyway, y’all pray for me tonight if that’s your thing.

Later…..Well, that post got interrupted due to girly chaos. Ha. But we all survived and I was even rewarded with a nap this afternoon. All’s well that ends well.

Oh, and the new hamster is named “Juliet” and is still alive as of right now. Winning.

 

summer storms

CaptureKiddo is breathing heavy beside me, borderline snoring through the thunder and lightning. I love storms. At least those of the non-threatening, not gonna blow your house away kind. The snoring blond bundle turns six years old tomorrow. I’m not going to say the usual “I can’t believe how big she’s getting”, or “She’s growing up so fast” because while those things are true, that’s sort of a lame observation isn’t it? She’s getting a pet hamster and having a party at our house with her little munchkin friends. It will be a good birthday.

My trip to PA was awesome and amazing for the most part. Good friends are hard to find. Good friends who are married to each other that you like equally as much, even harder. I think a few days in PA is going to become an annual summer thing for me. No complaints about that. Speaking of trips, Paris is only two weeks away and I feel very unprepared for some reason. We did order euros and I’ll pick those up tomorrow. I need to be rounding up passports, our European plug power adapters, guidebooks, and random stuff like that.

The thunder has subsided and now there’s just a soft murmur of rain that’s making me drowsy. Time to join the kiddo and do that whole snoring thing.

Lodged, by Robert Frost

The rain to the wind said,
‘You push and I’ll pelt.’
They so smote the garden bed
That the flowers actually knelt,
And lay lodged–though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt.

stress and therapists who text

Today was super stressful. Lots to do and my head just wasn’t in it. My brain was not working at all and I was struggling with concepts that should have been relatively simple. My boss probably thinks I’m a total doofus. Oh well. I powered through anyway and managed to get all the things done that were required. Small victories. Hopefully I didn’t screw anything up.

A therapy appointment that went over didn’t help my stress level either. It was productive as usual however. Its almost like sitting in a class about yourself. You’re the student and the therapist is the teacher…teaching you things about yourself that you may or may not know or realize. Its a bizarre thing at times. I should probably take notes.

And is it weird that my therapist texted me? I didn’t even realize she had my number and I was sitting in the waiting room and get a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying that this person was running late but would be there in five minutes. I didn’t answer and I thought there was a chance it was the doc but dismissed the thought until she comes in and says “hey did you get my text”? It just struck me as weird. Then at the end of the session she said she would text me some information on meditation resources and she did. Its like we’ve reached a whole new level in our relationship or something. Ha.

Ok, some yahoo crazy cuckoo person (me), booked a 5:45AM flight for in the morning. My reasons were noble (to maximize time with my friends) but man, getting up in four hours is gonna hurt tomorrow. I’ll manage on adrenaline alone though. I love traveling solo. Love it love it love it. I’ll be in Pittsburgh by lunchtime and all will be well.

fresh

I’m not digging this template but I feel like I want a new start on this blogging thing. I want to write more so it’s completely in character for me to procrastinate on actually writing by making my writing space different and pretty. Or at least different. I’m going to have to keep playing with it. I should just suck it up and pay so I can customize like I want to.

It’s late and I should be sleeping. Or packing. Or wogging (walk+jogging) or something productive. But then again, I’m trying to work on giving myself permission to be lazy sometimes. Except that I think I might be too lazy too much of the time and the permission thing is just to make myself feel better. Haha.  Also, its hot in here.

It occurs to me that I have a 5:45am flight on Friday morning. Just the thought of that makes me groan. Loudly. But the dread of waking up at 3:30ish is short lived because my destination is to visit one of my bestest friends and her sweet hubs. We are gonna get makeovers (well, not the hubs) and go to the amusement park and ride roller coasters and exercise together and eat junk and shop and go to the pool and go out on the town and laugh ourselves silly. I can’t wait!

And now, I crash.

life is short, you gotta DO STUFF!!!

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What am I thinking????

Like go skydiving for instance, as I did this past weekend. Yes ma’am. I jumped out of a plane and it was freakin’ amazing, terrifying, exhilarating, and just plain crazy.

Instructor Nate

Instructor Nate

Skydiving has been on my bucket list for a long time. I just hadn’t got around to seriously pursuing it yet. I can tend to over think and talk myself out of doing amazing things and it’s lame and a big fat waste of the short time that we have here. I’m thinking that stalling tactic has got to stop. Recent therapy sessions are also helping me feel like I can and should carpe diem with the best of ‘em.

To the gallows.

To the gallows.

But, credit where credit is due, it was The Accountant who gave me the “push” I needed to jump out of a plane. If his motive was to off me, it didn’t work. Wink wink. We had a babysitter for most of the weekend and hubs and I were excited about some quality time to ourselves. Out of the blue, he sent me a link from a skydiving place about an hour from our house and really encouraged me to do it because he knew it was on my “list”.  Maybe that’s not quite the traditional romantic gesture but it was pretty perfect to me. I’m not sure he thought I’d have the guts to actually go, but now we know better!

Let's do this!

Let’s do this!

I was so nervous on the ride to the place and honestly thought I might vomit. But we walked into the building and were immediately greeted by two young staffers who were super sweet and kept telling me what an awesome time I was about to have, and for some reason they made me believe it too. Ha! My instructor was retired Army and had done thousands of jumps. I know this because I made sure to ask. I watched a five minute video, got geared up and waited around for the plane to be prepped.

Its a bird, its a plane...

Its a bird, its a plane…

I was to be the only jumper, plus two other guys who worked there and went along and jumped separately just because. Finally, we were ready and away we went! Hubs stayed on the ground, prepared to greet me upon a hopefully safe landing.

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Free as a bird!

Nate, (my instructor) was a funny, fun, lighthearted, and somewhat crazy guy who made me feel as comfortable as you can possibly be before you plummet to the earth at 140 miles an hour. He attached the front of his gear to the back of mine, gave me a pair of goggles, told me the basics of what to do and what was going to happen, and then we headed for the door. I was supposed to stand up at the opening of the door but with a large man attached to my back, a moving plane and the fact that much like poking a needle into your own eye, this was NOT a natural inclination, I just couldn’t make my legs hold me up. Nate yells into my ear, “It’s cool, we’ll just roll outta here”.  And we did.

My terrified face.

My terrified face.

Terror y’all. Sheer, fabulous, crap yo’self terror. And surprisingly, pain in my head and legs. Sometimes when I fly it feels like a blood vessel in my forehead pops and I get a vicious and somewhat scary headache. That happened. And the harness cinched across my thighs wasn’t all that comfortable either while free falling violently through the air. But who cares about that stuff? I.Jumped.Out.Of.A.Plane. I was seeing the earth from a perspective that not everybody will.

About to land!

About to land!

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Safe!

We fell and fell and fell through clouds and mist and heaven. Nate pulled the parachute and the jerk was pretty intense but not too bad. We floated (that seems too gentle a word), and he told me how to “steer” the chute by pulling on the cord to make a few right hand turns. The ground seemed like it would never come up to meet us. We got closer to earth and Nate instructed me to lift my legs and feet. We landed with an innocent little “plop” that didn’t seem to do justice to the violent descent we’d just experienced.

We high-fived and woo-hooed and generally congratulated ourselves on a fabulous jump. Er, or roll rather. Hubs and I headed out to breakfast while the video was being edited. So crazy, that video. I kept thinking I can’t believe I just did that. I have to say though, now that I did it once, I think I’m good. I did not come away from the experience wanting to make skydiving my new hobby or anything. But I’m ecstatic that I checked the scariest thing (physically) off my bucket list, because doing that feels amazing.

You know all those things you’ve always wanted to do? You should go do them.